hypocritical irony

While Facebook can be a massive time suck, a breeding ground for cyber bullying, and a tool for stalking, some good has come from the Book. It has allowed us to have a massive ongoing, online, conversation, and just like in real life every now and then you hear something that is just rock bottom retarded. Earlier today my lovely Fiancee alerted me to an online petition that moveon.org and other lefty groups have been pushing to forgive all student loan debt. One of her Facebook “friends”, not sure of his/her name but I’ll just call them idiot for purposes of this post proudly posted a link to the petition after signing it themselves.

You can check out the exact petition at Signon.org by clicking here

After reading through the petition I experienced a roller coaster of emotions….

First… confusion. Could someone really think that its even possible to just snap ones finger and make the student debt disappear? Surely this must be a joke.

Second…anger. I quickly realized that, no this wasn’t some sort of joke, not even a man on the street sort of joke where you get regular people so say real dumb shit by prompting them with questions or ideas, see Jay Walking and the classic bit of getting people to sign a petition to ban di-hydrogen-monoxide (ie water) as classic examples of what I am talking about. Nope, not a joke, the creator of the petition, Robert Applebaum, was 100 percent serious when he posted this online and began soliciting “signatures”.

Third…sadness. It is just freaking pathetic that this would even be signed by, wait for it, over 270,000 people as of 9/18/2011. They need 280,000 before they send it to the House, the Senate, and the Almighty O, where it will be roundly mocked, ridiculed, and laughed at. Needless to say most of the signers/supporters tend to be of the 25-35 age range and obviously never had anything close to an economic education, neither formal nor in da streets.

Fourth… desire…. to explore internationally for a new home. Over the past couple of years becoming an expat has become more and more alluring. Hell, America was once the wild west, the great unknown, the place where you could go with nothing, but earn everything with some hard work and smarts. Now, to be blunt its not. Living in America means a crushing debt will be taken out in your name, flying will be a pain in the ass (possibly literally in the near future), unelected bureaucrats can write regulations on a whim that are as powerful as laws passed by state and federal legislatures, and you own practically nothing (don’t believe me? Try not paying property taxes rent and see what happens to you and your home). The allure of living abroad is the ability to be part of country while its on the upswing, not while its in the initial stages of a Titanic like decline. So far Costa Rica is at the top of the list, but Panama is apparently not to bad either. I love America as much as the next guy but I refuse to go down with the ship, I didn’t get the country to where it is today and I certainly won’t be paying for it if I can avoid it.

Fifth…. relief. I did some research on this abomination of an idea and came across the petition on reddit and the comments are what restored some of my faith in humanity. Here are some good ones:

“I’d be all for this if I get reimbursed for mine. Since I worked my ass off all through school and paid all my bills instead of buying crap I didn’t need or signing up for credit cards.”

Real good point, I knew people who worked their asses off to get through college, including a stripper who now, through her entrepreneurial know how, is involved in a small business and is promoting her rapping (pretty good btw) online, on her own. She drives a Z-3 and has minimal and manageable loan debt. If this plan gets passed I am sure she would be pissed the fuck off.

“Time to start spending well beyond my means now so when this happens I can keep my BMW M5 and my $10 million house. Responsibility, what’s that?”

Love the sarcasm! This dude raises the obvious point that doing anything close to this would induce a massive moral hazard.

“God damn. The scary part of this thread is the apparent number of college grad that don’t understand why this is a horrible idea. I judged the burden of college loans as way outside my ability to repay so I never went. It was a tough one too as I dream I could hold a degree and am slowly working on it now and paying as I go. It’s basically the equivalent of an amazingly huge taxation on responsibility. Not to mention there are plenty of more effective ways to revitalize the economy.”

Head of nail, meet hammer. The scariest part of this whole thing is that way to many people seem to think its a good idea, and remember a lot of these folks are college grads with lots-o-book-learnin.

Click on the link above and read through the comments, most are scathing. Even the ones who express mild support acknowledge the idea is essentially impossible/dead on arrival. On an interesting note I emailed Robert and to my surprise I got a personalized response. The fact that he has time to send out personal replies to jerks like me who email snotty comments to him says something, not quite sure what….

In the end though I have decided to sign his petition. Why? Because pretty much no matter what happens, the course America is on is pretty much set. The ideas needed to actually begin solving problems in America are far to radical to ever be adopted. Even with a President Paul, I doubt much could be done at this point to actually fix things. In my estimation, the only way things will actually get fixed is that America will be essentially rebuilt once the current system collapses. At that point everything will be on the table and actual progress might be made.

As a PS I have included my email exchange with Mr. Applebaum, seems like a nice guy however misguided:

Initial email:

Interesting idea but I think it isn’t really feasible. I have thought about what you proposed for quite a while and just can’t see how you can actually do what you propose. What about the people who hold the debt? They’re not all wall street fat cats. What about the moral hazard that is induced by actions such as this? Also you say with the stroke of a pen the president can solve this problem but I think there would need to be some sort of legislative action, not simply an EO. Also, just because the debt would be forgiven doesn’t mean the same people who just had their debt erased won’t end up on the hook for the $$ anyways. The US govt, the US taxpayer, will end up paying for any debt that is forgiven. Maybe a specific bill would be the perfect thing to accompany this petition, ideas are a dime a dozen, actual action takes balls.

Applebaum’s response:

I appreciate your concerns and, believe me when I tell you that nothing you’ve pointed out is something I haven’t thought long and hard about. Please check out my website, http://www.forgivestudentloandebt.com and be sure to read the full proposal, as well as the FAQs. I wasn’t suggesting an EO – the president has to sign legislation, too – that’s what I meant with my reference to a “stroke of the president’s pen.” There is a Resolution (H. Res 365), introduced in the house by Rep. Hansen Clarke currently pending, but you’re right, actual legislation needs to be drafted as well – that’s the project I’m working on with Rep. Clarke’s office this coming week. Finally, one last thing to think about: just as in any good negotiation, if you only ever ask for “x” you’ll never even get that much and, in all likelihood, a hell of a lot less. I’m really not as naive or crazy as you might think – there’s a method to my madness. If, by proposing something so radical and dramatic, I can get the powers that be to focus on the very real and growing problems inherent in the student loan market, I’ll have accomplished what I set out to do.

Best,

Rob

My response to his response:

I totally get the idea of shooting for the stars to make sure you at least get to the moon, but I think the ideas you put forward in the petition can be misunderstood by the people you are trying to help. You will do no one any favors by rewarding bad choices, I personally knew multiple people who took out excessive student loans not just to fund their education but also to ensure the grey goose was flowing, they had a DVR, and a big ass flat panel LCD tv. The problem is your plan makes no distinction between those who took out loans responsibly and those who wasted the money in what almost amounts to fraud (and might be, I’m no lawyer after all), and in practice it would be just about impossible without some sort of students loan inquisition board…

Also, more broadly, the root of my problem with your proposal is that you are looking toward the government to solve government induced problems. Yes tuition rates have been going through the roof but the beginning of this increase started just about the time getting student loans was made easier. In America college has become a big business, I can speak from personal experience as I have worked closely with colleges and students over the past 3 years at multiple universities and colleges. They charge higher tuition because they know they’ll get it because of the ease with which students could get loans.

I will sign your petition however because I believe it will speed up the inevitable: the financial collapse of the American government. We can’t snap our fingers and make money debt disappear, someone will be left holding the bag and it will likely be everyone else in America. Adding billions more to the debt of the USA will only get us where we are headed in a faster manner. Good luck with your efforts while you work on this, I and others will be looking outside of the US for future opportunities.

Best regards,

-Beer Me Liberty

Not unlike 90% of American citizens (it’s funny because 10% are unemployed!) I spend most of my day fucking around on the internet. I read lots of blogs. Lots and lots of blogs. Some of my favorites routinely have a morning link which is a list of other links. I know it sounds complicated, but trust me it’s not. It does, however, offer up the best the internet has to offer from people with likeminded comedic sensibilities.

I’ve made a point in the last few years not to ape this particular aspect of blogging. Today, that changes. When I showed up at work and proceeded to not actually work but instead browse my favorite sites I decided that I just had to share because today offered more hilarity on the internet than any other any other day that I can remember. I’ll list them by site instead of chronologically because I’m lazy.

“Because you know what’s really hot when you have a girl on her hands and knees and you’re drilling her from behind? Being reminded of her 3 kids.” WWTDD

“I don’t mean to generalize but most women are kinda dumb, and girls are practically retarded, so this is what you get when you hand them the reins of power.” WWTDD

“Hulk Hogan is dating a woman who looks like his daughter, so it’s obvious his thing is transvestites.” I Don’t Like You In That Way

“Usually when you see a seemingly unconscious white woman being held down by a black man, only one word comes to mind. And that word is “rape.” I Don’t Like You In That Way

“The only — ONLY — positive of Dr. Phil landing this interview is that it means Nancy Grace did not. I bet that’s eating at her, knowing that the Anthony’s picked a wealthy, judgmental egomaniac with a cartoonish Southern accent and it wasn’t her.” Warming Glow

“I Appreciate Your Selfish Health and Vanity Concerns, Bro. But We Want the Fat Guy Back” Pajiba

And speaking of guys less fat than they used to be, I unclude this picture because a while back my ex told me she thought I looked like Val Kilmer. My first thought was: Sweet. She thinks I look like Batman! Then I Googled Val Kilmer because I’m a narcissistic douche and the first picture I found was this one:

And because he’s now a “music artist” Buzzfeed

Oh, but I saved the best for last:
“Last year, a report surfaced alleging fashion houses were strategically gifting Snooki items from competitors in the name of covert branding sabotage. This year, Abercrombie & Fitch has apparently decided to say “Fuck all that,” and issued a press release letting everyone know they’ll pay The Situation – and the entire cast if they have to – to stop wearing its shit.” The Superficial

“I don’t have that feeling, that chip on my shoulder,” said Favre

The fuck you don’t God damn it. I will not believe that Brett Favre is retired until at LEAST six months after he’s dead and buried. He doesn’t just get to pop onto the radio and tell people that he’s definitely not coming back to the game because everyone who is not named Corky knows that specifically stating that he is not interested in coming back is the annual precurser to him COMING THE FUCK BACK!!

Oh, you were born after 1980? This is fucking Corky. He’s a retard.

TITS!!!

I’m pretty sure I broke a bone in my hand the other day. It was while I was listening to the President’s speech that, summarized, was: “Pfft. Whatever.” At the same time I was being bitched out by a customer because I couldn’t tell him the password to his computer. That he made up. When another company installed his machine. The wall took the punishment for the two of them.

I can’t watch the news these days because our country is going to shit. The problem is that I LIKE watching the news. It’s part of my morning routine and I scroll through news sites all throughout the day. Plus I hate when I get home at night and since I was watching Morning Joe on MSNBC when I left, the first voice I hear out of my TV when I turn it on is that asshole Al Sharpton. It is a miracle that the screen is not destroyed.

But today I was looking at my swollen hand and needed to relax. Then I started thinking about college and how it was much easier to just get shitfaced and occasionally attend class for half a decade. That is what led me to remembering one of the icons of my tenure at Penn State. Out in central Pennsylvania there are two people that everyone on campus knows and loves: Joe Pa and Frank Clemente.

Prof. Clemente taught Soc 005. It was essentially story time with Frank Clemente. I think it was the also the only class that I attended every single one of. Well when I was feeling like I was going to break my other hand today I googled him and what I found made my day. It was his final final lecture. Frank’s “Rules of Life” lecture is how he ended every semester. This was his last lecture before retirement.

I am by most all accounts a cynical, sarcastic and selfish asshole. Frank Clemente’s  “Rules of Life” lecture, however, put perspective into my day when I first heard it eight years ago… and it did the same today.

Enjoy.

Frank Clemente’s Final Soc 005 Lecture at Penn State from Onward State on Vimeo.

Standard and Poor’s removed the United States’ perfect credit rating yesterday. Instead of being rated at the perfect AAA status, our government is now at AA-plus. I have no idea what that means. I’m pretty sure it will cost me money, but when it comes to complex international finance- well, my head starts to hurt. That then compounds the headache that I have from our elected government officials being giant fucking retards who posture more than a peacock.

The funny thing, though, is that our impending financial collapse and our incompetent “leadership” is not the thing that has had me banging my head against the wall for three days.

This has:

I’ve explained before how I get irrationally pissed the fuck off about stupid fucking shit. And when BeerMeLiberty informed me of this particular occurrence I kind of thought he was trying to get me to stroke out.

I almost did.

To the tens (fingers crossed!) of people who are going to read this: I have something to express about these fucking people. And the real kicker is that they are not the worst people in the story. That is why I’ve been trying unsuccessfully to wrap my head around the whole fucking thing.

If you own a Beanie Baby and it is worth thousands of dollars, that is awesome. Hang onto that shit and try and convert it to Yen when China officially owns us. If, however, you have a fucking stuffed monkey Beanie Baby that you keep as a child in your fucked up non-relationship with another middle-aged person… kill yourself. You’re doing yourself (and the sane people of the world) a favor.

And now to the worst person in the story:

“It must be some kind of joke,” said Maureen Hormaza. But when told that it was not, in fact, a joke, Hormaza’s heart melted.
“It’s very sad and touching,” she said. “Wow.”

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding me?

It’s not touching. The only “wow” that it deserves would be in a sentence like this:

“Wow, those people are fucked up. They took a Beanie Baby out to dinner and then offered people five hundred bucks to return the piece of shit when they lost it? Wow.”

I’m not proud that for 72 hours this thing has been popping into my head and making me angry. I’m also not proud that MOTHERFUCKERTHEREAREPEOPLEINTHISWORLDWHOTAKEFUCKINGBEANIEBABIESTODINNERANDTHENLOSETHEIRSHITWHENITDISAPPEARS. FUCK.

So I was riding on the internet this morning and a story just jumped out at me.

Here is the headline and a link to the story:

Museum Guard Boots Lesbian Hand-Holders:
Ironically, they were visiting a well-reviewed exhibit of well-known lesbian artist
(Sub-headline added by me: In San-Fran-the-gayest-place-on-earth-cisco)

Here are some key quotes from the story and my thoughts regarding them:

An eyewitness tells the seasoned columnist that she saw “a young lesbian couple” arguing with a security guard at the Contemporary Jewish Museum Sunday afternoon.

uh oh….minority groups are colliding here whats a liberal city like SF to do…

The security guard allegedly told the couple that they were not allowed to hold hands in the museum. The couple demanded to see someone in charge at the museum and a small crowd began to gather around them as the argument ensued.

Probably not the first time a small (or large) crowd has gathered to watch some lesbians in San Francisco…

This Just in!

The shit storm is likely to be avoided as the museum issued a groveling apology and demanded that the guard in question never be allowed to work at the museum again:

We demanded that the guard never be assigned to the CJM in any capacity at any time. Moreover, the CJM demanded that the company instruct all security guards it assigns to the CJM on appropriate behavior toward Museum visitors and provide the CJM with a corrective plan of action.

The company has assured the CJM that the guard in question has been reprimanded, and that going forwarded all of the company employees assigned to duties at the CJM will be required to attend a sensitivity training course that addresses how Museum visitors are to be treated. On behalf of the Museum, its staff, and Board of Trustees, we are truly sorry that this incident occurred in our facility. We are proud to be presenting the exhibition Seeing Gertrude Stein and welcome all visitors to experience the work on view. If you have any further questions about this matter, please do not hesitate to contact me directly.

The irony of this story is surely why it receiving any attention at all, but it is an illustration of the hypersensitive culture we live in today. The list of words you aren’t allowed to say is growing longer by the day and in America its a shame such a list exists at all. And while we have no laws against certain words, the modern media punishment/lynching of anyone who says something politically incorrect is truly chilling. How many times in a week do you NOT say something because it might offend someone? Even things that would have seemed innocent 10 or 15 years ago are now considered politically incorrect.

Hopefully the pendulum will swing back, not to full blow discrimination and racism of course, but to a time and place where people can laugh at their differences and not feel bad about pointing them out in mixed company. I predict the first sign that things are getting better will be when Hollywood remakes Blazing Saddles without heavily editing the script:

Now a days the world is abuzz with talk about the debt ceiling and a not guilty child killer. Today I am going to talk about the issue that to me is more frustrating, the debt. So today I am going to focus on debt at a micro level. I am a recent college graduate and as such I have a lot of recent grad friends, for many of whom money is a big issue, for some its not an issue at all. Some are drowning in debt: credit card, medical bills, student loans, or maybe a few bills to a bookie or drug dealer, or some mix of those types of debt. Today I a going to go through 5 reasons so many people today are in dire financial straights. Before we dive into the shallow end of reasoning behind debt here is a fun fact: In an article I recently read it said that 50 percent of Americans couldn’t get $1000 together in one month if they had to. To me that is a very good illustration of what the problem is, people are living beyond their means, there money is tied up in who knows what, and the end result is stumbling along month to month worrying about making minimum payments and avoiding late charges.

5. College is over, now drinking everyday is called…..
Alcoholism. Yup college ruled, 40 foot beer bongs, little to no responsibility, hitting bars at 12pm on a Wednesday was never a bad idea, and the best part no 8am classes the next day to screw up your hangover recovery. Booze is expensive folks, and while I love my Tanqueray and Tonics I don’t get blasted every night drinking G&T’s. There are two main reasons for that 1) I no longer hate my liver, we got over our disagreements shortly after I graduated and I decided to stop the abuse, 2) I like money more than I like catching a buzz. Throwing back a couple of cocktails (or 12), everyday might be fun, but it could very well be the reason your ass is broke.

4. You don’t know shit about dollars and cents
This has got to be one of the most obvious. Today I would say most people have next to no financial education unless it is something you specialized in and now you say…run a hedge fund. The fact is in the “Good Ole’ Days” kids were educated about financial decisions, banks often gave away piggy banks so a kid could fill it with change then take it to the bank to open his first savings account. During this time people often re-used items, dads would take the belt to the kids for messing with the thermostat, clothes were repaired instead of replaced, and people actually saved up money to buy something instead of spreading a purchase across 3 to 5 credit cards. The fact is many people don’t educate their kids about money because its considered an adult topic. Don’t want to ruin little Billy’s childhood by making him worry about money or where it comes from. Just give him an allowance. An allowance might as well be welfare. While growing up most of my friends who got an allowance just got it. They had to do little or nothing in the way of chores or if they did “have” to they did them inconsistently at best. The end result was the belief that they were entitled to money regardless of where it came from or how hard someone else worked for it. What a surprise that kids raised like that now turn into adults who can’t afford to live on their own.

3. You have more credit than a 3rd world country…
And it is maxed the fuck out. The number of peers in college I knew with multiple credit cards with balances in the thousands of dollars was stunning. You do not know irresponsible spending until you see a drunk 20 year old with a credit card who assumes he will get a signing bonus big enough to pay off all his irresponsible spending once he graduates from college. Buying every DVD you ever want to watch, eating take out for every meal everyday, and transferring balances from one card to a new zero-interest-for-12-months card might seem like responsible financial activity but that’s probably due to reason 4.

2. You went to college
Ahhh graduation day has finally arrived. Five to six years after you started down the path to a degree in mechanical engineering you are walking up to get your degree in Philosophy and Underwater Basket Weaving. After all why work hard to get a BS in ME, when you can get a BA in BS. All you need to get hired now is a bachelors degree, it is the key to your future. Now back to reality… It might have been the case that getting a BA unlocked all the doors to a prosperous future but now with more people than ever getting all sorts of useless degrees it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Besides the fact that your dual degree in Philosophy and UWBW is worth exactly nothing on the open market, you took out 50-100K in loans to get that bad boy. Once you realize your future is dim, I’ll slow clap while you face-palm. Seriously though, the internet is replete with stories of people who got really deep into debt to get a degree they now consider to be useless. Just check out this story, or this one, or this one, and finally this one.

1. Your government
At the time I am writing this you cannot watch any news at all without some mention of the debt ceiling debates coming up. Basically we are coming up against our credit limit and the scum that make up our “representatives” can’t figure out whether to raise taxes or cut expenses. For decades the government has been spending more money than it has taken in, essentially being an drunk irresponsible 20 something with a credit card. Only instead of DVD’s and clothes, the government is blowing money on wars, education, fighting the war(s) on obesity/drugs/cancer/global warming/terrorism/voldemort. The whole while America is roundly declared the best place on earth by the people who are going to have to pay the piper. If the American government were a person that existed in the real world they would be a really cool bum. A broke ass loser who can’t manage money for shit but everybody points at him and chants “America” or “USA” while fist pumping. So America has racked up almost 15 trillion in debt which is the limit on what the Chinese will lend us and now the bum can’t figure out whether he should go out and get a job (tax raises) or stop huffing paint and drinking Carlo Di Rossi jug wine (spending cuts). All the while America’s children have been watching, learning, and emulating.